Episode 16: What Happened When I Deleted Instagram

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or professional health advice.

While I’m an IFS informed therapy practitioner, this podcast is not therapy and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace individual support.

If anything in this episode brings up something for you, please seek support from a qualified health professional, GP, psychologist, or therapist, especially if you are experiencing distress, disordered eating, or mental health concerns.

Always consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your health, nutrition, or treatment plan.

Taking a Break From Instagram Changed More Than I Expected

Recently I took some time off Instagram, and it genuinely changed a lot more than I expected it to.

I wasn’t doing it to be disciplined with screen time. I wasn’t trying to become some “better person.” And I definitely wasn’t doing it because I think social media is evil.

I took a break because I realised I was letting an app have way too much access to my nervous system.

And what surprised me was this.

It didn’t just make me less distracted.

It changed my presence in my relationship.

It changed my creativity.

It changed my gratitude.

It changed how my inner critic showed up.

It even changed how I saw my appearance, and I didn’t realise how distorted that perception had become until I stepped away.

So I want to share what happened, because I think this will land for you, especially if you’re someone who seems fine on the outside… but underneath you’re tired, overwhelmed, overthinking, comparing, or quietly feeling like you can’t switch off.

Why I Took a Break (And The Red Flag I Couldn’t Ignore)

There were a few reasons I stepped back.

One was my honeymoon.

I shared a little bit on my stories, but not much. I was present. I wasn’t filming everything. I wasn’t trying to turn it into content.

And when I came back, I’d lost around 30 followers.

And honestly, I had a part of me that was like… are you kidding me?

This part was annoyed.

Not because I think anyone owes me a follow.

But because I worked so hard on my socials last year, probably too hard. I didn’t stop when I needed to. I didn’t zoom out. I just kept going.

So to see followers drop while I was literally living my life felt like a moment where my system went:

Why am I giving this app so much power?

And that was the red flag.

Because if I’m letting an app dictate my emotional state, I need to step back.

The Other Reason: Comparison Was Quietly Shifting Me

The other big reason was comparison.

There was a part of me that was comparing myself and my business to other people’s businesses.

Seeing them thriving.

Growing.

Killing it.

And power to them, genuinely.

But the part of me that compares was making it mean something about me.

And I want to say this clearly.

Comparison is human.

You can’t just “stop comparing.”

That advice is honestly useless.

But you can notice when comparison is changing your internal state.

And for me, it was.

It was changing my relationship to my work.

It was changing my energy.

It was changing how I felt in myself.

So I deleted the app off my phone.

The First Thing I Noticed Was Gratitude

This part surprised me.

I wasn’t trying to do a gratitude practice.

I wasn’t journaling.

I wasn’t forcing it.

But within days, I noticed gratitude coming through naturally.

I was grateful for the sun.

My coffee.

My business.

The fact I can work the hours I choose.

I was grateful for where I live.

For the beach.

For my friends.

For the small moments I usually rush past.

And I started noticing my husband more too.

Not in a “he changed” way.

In a “I’m finally present enough to see him properly” way.

And when you’re noticing more, you express more.

And when you express more, the energy in your relationship shifts.

You soften.

You feel closer.

They feel appreciated.

They show up more.

You show up more.

It becomes this beautiful loop.

Life Got Bigger (Because I Got My Attention Back)

This is the part I didn’t expect.

When I stopped consuming everyone else’s lives, my own life got bigger.

Nothing in my life changed.

I just got my attention back.

I was more present on my walks because I wasn’t checking my phone constantly.

I was more present with friends.

I wasn’t sitting in moments thinking:

Should I post this?

Should I film this?

Should I share this?

I was just living it.

And honestly, that felt rare.

My Creativity Came Back (Because Creativity Needs Space)

The next thing I noticed was creativity.

My creativity ramped up so fast.

And it makes sense.

Creativity needs space.

And creativity is like a muscle.

If you’re constantly consuming, there’s no space.

You’re full.

Your system is full.

Your brain is full.

Your emotional world is full.

And when you’re creating from pressure, it doesn’t flow.

But when I stepped away, I was creating more than I was consuming.

I was writing more.

I had more ideas.

I felt more depth.

More energy.

More clarity.

And even more desire to create, which was honestly such a relief.

But Here’s The Other Side: My Inner Critic Got Loud

Now I want to speak to the other side of this.

Because it wasn’t all “wow, I’m so peaceful and enlightened.”

My inner critic got brutal for a couple of weeks.

Like genuinely loud.

So loud it made me cry several times a week.

And what was interesting was I couldn’t unblend from her.

I know my inner critic.

I have a relationship with her.

But I was so blended I was believing everything she was saying.

And this is the part I want you to hear.

When you remove distractions, what’s underneath comes up.

If you’ve been scrolling to numb out, even subtly, then when you stop scrolling…

you start feeling.

You start sitting with yourself.

You start being in the quiet.

And for some parts of you, that can feel confronting.

Especially if you’ve had parts keeping you moving for years.

The Part I Needed To Work With Wasn’t Even The Critic

This was a big moment for me.

I realised the inner critic wasn’t the first part I needed to work with.

The first part I needed to work with was the part that wanted the inner critic to go away.

Because that part was making her louder.

So I started turning toward them every day.

Listening.

Letting her show me what she was protecting.

And slowly, my capacity expanded.

Not just in a productivity sense.

In a depth sense.

Because we can only hold the things in our life to the depth we go to ourselves.

And yes, I know that sounds like a therapist thing to say.

But it’s true.

You can’t take people where you haven’t gone.

And this break asked me to go deeper.

The Unexpected Shift: My Relationship With My Appearance Changed

This part honestly shocked me.

I didn’t even realise how automatic my thoughts about my appearance had become.

The subtle scanning.

The noticing.

The urge to filter.

The tiny critiques.

And then one day off Instagram, I looked in the mirror and realised:

I don’t think any of those things right now.

Nothing about my face had changed.

No skincare.

No treatment.

No magic.

Just a change in environment.

And it reminded me how distorted our perceptions can become when we’re exposed to curated feeds constantly.

Your Baseline Quietly Shifts (And You Don’t Even Notice)

I shared a story in the episode about watching Sex and the City in my early twenties.

Candice Bergen came on screen.

And I remember thinking she looked so puffy.

Years later, I watched the exact same scene again and thought:

She looks normal.

That’s not about her.

That’s about perception.

Our baseline shifts.

Our “normal” shifts.

And it happens quietly.

Filters.

Fillers.

Makeup.

Angles.

Lighting.

Curated lives.

Perfect homes.

Perfect routines.

Even if you’re self aware, you still absorb it.

You still take it in.

Parts of you still scan.

Still compare.

Still measure.

And over time, it changes what you think is attractive, acceptable, or what you think you should look like.

Your Cycle Changes Your Perception Too

This is another important piece, especially for women.

Your perception changes depending on where you are in your cycle.

I shared a story about looking in a mirror in an elevator.

One morning I thought:

You look cute today.

A few days later I looked at myself in the exact same mirror and my inner critic said:

You fat motherfucker.

And I was like… whoa.

Because I know I hadn’t changed.

But my perception had.

That’s hormones.

That’s emotional sensitivity.

That’s the internal world shifting.

And when you add Instagram on top of that, it’s like fuel on a fire.

You’re already more sensitive, then you expose yourself to an environment designed to trigger comparison.

And then we wonder why we feel like shit.

What You Think Is Your Personality Might Just Be Your Nervous System

This was one of the biggest takeaways for me.

What we think is our personality is often just our nervous system responding to the environment we’re in.

And Instagram is an environment.

Even though it’s not physical, it becomes your environment because your attention is living there.

So if your inner critic gets louder when you’re on social media…

If your body image gets worse…

If comparison ramps up…

It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It might mean you’re overstimulated.

And if your body image gets worse, it doesn’t mean you need to fix your body.

It might mean you need to look at what you’re exposing yourself to.

And Yes, This Links Back To Emotional Eating

Because food isn’t just food.

Food is layered.

Complex.

Emotional.

Relational.

Nervous system.

Environment.

And the more overwhelmed, overstimulated, pressured, and depleted you feel…

the more likely you are to emotionally eat.

Or to do something else emotionally.

Scrolling.

Wine.

Shopping.

Control.

All the same system.

You Don’t Need To Quit Instagram

I’m not telling you to shut down your account.

I didn’t.

I just deleted the app and checked messages once a day on my laptop.

And laptops hit different.

You don’t get pulled into the scroll in the same way.

So if you’ve been feeling like your inner critic has been loud lately…

If comparison has been creeping in…

If your body checking has ramped up…

If you’ve been scanning, measuring, analysing…

Just consider what happens if you step away for three days.

Not as discipline.

Not as punishment.

Not as a “challenge.”

As information.

Because your system might respond beautifully, intelligently, exactly as it’s designed to.

Listen to the Full Episode

If this landed for you, you can listen to the full episode of The Self Led Woman using the player above.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or professional health advice.

While I’m an IFS informed therapy practitioner, this podcast is not therapy and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace individual support.

If anything in this episode brings up something for you, please seek support from a qualified health professional, GP, psychologist, or therapist, especially if you are experiencing distress, disordered eating, or mental health concerns.

Always consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your health, nutrition, or treatment plan.