Episode 29: Emotional Eating, Control & Parts Work with Ivana Legnerova | IFS Therapy for Healing Your Relationship with Food
Listen to the full episode
If you’ve ever felt like you should be able to “fix” your relationship with food but haven’t been able to, this episode will help you understand why.
Emotional Eating, Control & Parts Work
Why your relationship with food isn’t about willpower, with IFS therapist Ivana Legnerova
In Episode [insert number] of the Self Led Woman Podcast, I’m joined by Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist Ivana Legnerova for a grounded and compassionate conversation about emotional eating, control, and what’s actually happening underneath our relationship with food.
Because for so many women, the struggle with food doesn’t make sense on the surface.
You can be high functioning.
Disciplined.
Self-aware.
And still feel like you’re losing control with food behind closed doors.
This episode helps make sense of that.
It’s not about control
One of the biggest themes in this conversation is the idea that eating behaviours are not failures.
They are protective.
When someone says, “I just need more control around food,” what’s often sitting underneath that is not a lack of discipline, but a system that is trying to manage something deeper.
As Ivana shares, there is always a reason for these patterns.
Parts of you that restrict, binge, or control food are not random. They are trying to help you cope with something that feels overwhelming, vulnerable, or unsafe.
And when you begin to understand that, the way you relate to yourself starts to shift.
Why high-functioning women struggle in private
Something we both see in our work is how common this is for high-functioning women.
From the outside, everything looks together.
They are capable. Productive. Reliable.
They are the ones holding everything together.
But behind closed doors, there is often another part of the system trying to balance that.
A part that turns to food to soothe, numb, or create relief after a day of holding too much.
This isn’t a contradiction.
It’s a system trying to regulate itself.
In IFS terms, these are often different parts working in opposition. One part pushing, performing, achieving. Another part stepping in to release the pressure.
And when you don’t understand that dynamic, it can feel like you’re fighting yourself.
The role of shame in eating patterns
Shame is one of the most powerful forces that keeps these patterns in place.
There is shame around food.
Shame around the body.
Shame around not being able to “get it together.”
And then there is another layer of shame for even having the struggle in the first place.
As Ivana explains, shame often creates more protection.
Parts step in to fix it. To control it. To make sure you don’t feel that way again.
Which only deepens the cycle.
This is why trying to force behaviour change rarely works.
Because the behaviour isn’t the problem.
What IFS therapy offers that other approaches don’t
Internal Family Systems offers a completely different way of working with these patterns.
Instead of trying to eliminate behaviours, it helps you build a relationship with the parts of you that are driving them.
Not with judgment.
Not with control.
But with curiosity.
When parts feel understood instead of pushed away, something shifts.
They begin to trust.
They soften.
They no longer need to work as hard.
And from there, change happens in a way that doesn’t feel forced.
What healing actually looks like
Healing your relationship with food isn’t just about changing what you eat.
It’s about changing how you relate to yourself.
As Ivana describes, healing often looks like:
More space in your mind
More presence in your body
More compassion towards yourself
Less urgency, less control, less noise
And something that’s hard to describe but easy to feel…
A sense that you are no longer fighting yourself.
There is life on the other side of constantly thinking about food and your body.
And many people don’t realise how much energy it’s taking until it’s no longer there.
Connect with Ivana Legnerova
Link to website
https://www.ivanatherapy.co.uk/
Disclaimer
The Self Led Woman podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional healthcare.
If this episode brings up anything difficult for you, please consider reaching out to a trained healthcare professional, therapist, or support service.
In Australia you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Butterfly Foundation National Helpline on 1800 33 4673, which provides support for people experiencing eating disorders and body image concerns.
Work with me
If you’re listening to this and recognising yourself in these patterns, you don’t have to keep navigating it on your own.
You can book a free 30-minute consultation below where we’ll map out what’s actually going on in your system and what support could look like. Book here
