The Voice That Keeps You Playing Small (And What To Do About It)
For the woman who’s exhausted by her inner critic—this is for you.
If you’re constantly questioning yourself, picking yourself apart, feeling like no matter what you do it’s not quite enough... I see you.
That relentless voice in your head? The one that whispers (or shouts) “You’re not good enough,” “Who do you think you are?”—it can be exhausting. And when that voice runs the show, confidence becomes performative, self-trust is shaky, and your big dreams stay tucked quietly in the background.
But here’s the part most people miss:
Your inner critic isn’t trying to ruin your life.
She’s trying to protect you.
And when you learn how to relate to her differently—with curiosity instead of fear or resistance—everything begins to shift.
Let’s talk about how to do that.
Here are 5 ways to start working with your inner critic, not against her:
1. Speak in “Parts” Language
Instead of saying, “I’m a mess” or “I’m failing,” try:
“There’s a part of me that feels overwhelmed.”
It sounds simple, but it’s powerful. Because that part of you? It’s not all of you.
When you notice self-doubt, criticism, anxiety, or overwhelm, name it as a part. This creates space between you and the emotion, and reminds you that another part of you—your calm, capable, wise Self—is here too.
Try saying:
“I see you, I hear you. What are you afraid of?”
“I get that you’re trying to protect me. Can we talk about what you need to feel safe?”
When your critic feels acknowledged, it doesn’t need to scream.
2. Practice Gentle Curiosity
Your critic is used to being ignored, battled with, or shamed. Curiosity disarms her.
Ask:
“How long have you been here?”
“What are you protecting me from?”
“What would it feel like to trust me instead?”
Often, the critic is protecting younger parts of you—the ones who felt hurt, judged, or abandoned. Curiosity helps you build a bridge between your Self and your critic, and that’s when transformation starts.
3. Create Safety for the Critic and the Inner Child She Protects
Behind every harsh inner voice is a scared, tender part that’s been hurt before. The critic is just trying to shield that part.
Try this:
Close your eyes and imagine your critic as a character.
Say: “I see you. Thank you for protecting me. I’ve got this now.”
Then invite her to step back while you connect with the part she’s been protecting—your younger self.
Visualize a safe, nurturing place for your inner child—a warm room, a peaceful garden, anywhere she can feel held. Let the critic know she’s done enough. She can rest.
4. Reframe Her Messages
When your critic says, “You’re going to mess this up,” what she really means is,
“I’m terrified you’ll get hurt if this goes wrong.”
Try replying:
“I know you’re trying to keep me safe. But I can handle this.”
“It’s okay if I don’t get it perfect. I’m still worthy.”
When you meet fear with compassion and grounded leadership, your critic softens—and your confidence grows.
5. Make It a Daily Check-In
Healing your inner world is a relationship—not a one-time event. The more often you connect with your parts, the more supported they feel, and the quieter your critic becomes.
Try this practice:
Ask yourself: “Who needs my attention today?”
Pause, listen, and respond:
“I hear you. What do you need from me right now?”Visualize giving that part a warm hug, or letting her know she’s safe with you now.
These moments create deep internal safety—the kind that makes real change possible.
Why I Wrote This
I spent years letting my inner critic run the show. She drove me to overachieve, people-please, and endlessly prove myself.
She told me love was something I had to earn by being perfect.
And she nearly burned me out.
What changed?
I stopped fighting her—and started listening.
And that’s why I created my free ebook, The Voice Inside. Because once I learned how to approach my inner critic with curiosity instead of fear, everything shifted. My healing deepened. My confidence returned. I found peace with myself.
And I want that for you, too.
Take the Next Step
If you’re ready to quiet the critic and lead your life from calm, clarity, and deep inner trust—this is your invitation.
Download my free ebook,
The Voice Inside: Understanding & Soothing Your Inner Critic
to get practical tools, powerful IFS-based practices, and a clear path forward.
[Click here to get yours]
You are not broken. You’re just tired of surviving.
Let’s build something new—starting with the voice inside.